Do you ever feel tired of feeling like you are supposed to put on a certain face and have it all together all of the time? Like somehow, there’s a part of yourself that you’re not honoring - even if it looks like you’re a successful professional with a great job, a fancy suit, and enough business perks to travel in style for many years to come. Does it feel a little bit like maybe you unwittingly made a deal somewhere along the way to have these great things, but somehow had to trade off a part of yourself for it to happen?
I spent years working in positions that “should” have felt AMAZING. I got to travel around the country, and then the world, working for big companies. Every day I would put on my suit and heels and head into whichever office I was meant to be in, and if it was a particularly important meeting day, I would don my suit of armor - the black pantsuit. Don’t get me wrong, I still have, and occasionally love wearing, my black pantsuit. But these days, when I put it on, it’s because it’s the piece of clothing I want to wear, not because I feel like I need to put on a suit of armor that portrays a version of myself that isn’t fully me in order to keep me safe.
As I did my best to figure out what I was meant to do, and why things felt so off for me in a profession that logically made sense given my understanding of my commitments in the world, I also dove into my own journey of personal growth and development. A personal exploration. It’s taken a lot of years, but there’s some light making its way through the canopy and illuminating my path these days.
When I speak of “softening to soul” what I can tell you is that, it is in the discovery and finally connecting with my own heart that I found the answers to some of the questions above. The missing piece of my existence, the “why” in terms of being so misaligned with what was logically a terrific career. Having grown-up with a story about how the world is, and how one needs to appear in order to succeed, I struggled to connect with my own heart.
However, it turns out that my heart was the key all along. Connecting has allowed me to better understand myself and to identify what is most meaningful to me in my life (and what was missing in earlier configurations). It has allowed me to more fully align my being, which may sound a little out there - and is not a sentence I would have been comfortable with even a few years ago. But that doesn’t negate it’s truth.
I invite you to get a little uncomfortable. Get to know yourself. Everything you need to know, everything you are meant to be, is already inside you. <3